As part of a screenwriting workshop we were asked to pick a moment in film or TV that we like. I have chosen:
The Tenth Doctor Regenerates- David Tennant to Matt Smith
I love this moment from the Christmas episode of Doctor Who Season 4 entitled "The End of Time". This was David Tennant's final episode. This scene is a very memorable moment because just before the regeneration begins David says "I don't wanna go", a line which reflects David's true feelings. After serving as the Doctor for a long period time, it is clear he doesn't want to leave. This line was recorded four times with three different levels of emotion and the take used is take number 3.
Here are the alternate takes:
The line itself was almost cut because it seemed too cheesy and not like something the doctor would say. However, I think the line works perfectly and really connects with the audience because they didn't want him to go either. It's a great moment in television that almost didn't make the final cut.
After filtering through my initial ideas and testing each one to see if it would work and to see if I could answer the recommended questions (who, what, why, when & how), I have come to a conclusion.
This is the idea I have decided to continue developing:
A story set in the waiting room of the maternity ward at a hospital, based around a father who doesn't have a great relationship with the mother, a relationship that can all change when they meet their child for the first time. I want the father to have a conversation with a friend in the waiting room about what happened between him and the mother. I want to use the baby as a tool to bring the two young parents together again.
I started developing the idea and this is what I produced:
Brainstorm for final idea
I will now continue to work on this idea and come up with a 25 word pitch.
During a recent lecture we sat and watch a film called Memento (2000). The film was written and directed by Christopher Nolan and stars Guy Pearce as a man who, because he cannot create short term memories, must come up with a unique way to remember information so he can find the person who murdered his wife.
Guy Pearce as Leonard in Memento (2000)
What's interesting about this film is that it takes place backwards. At the start on the film we see the ending and then we see the build up to that, but in reverse. This does not mean the clips are shown in reverse, it means they have been reordered so they take place in reverse. I think this works very effectively and turns this relatively normal and basic story into a complicated and interesting one. If the film were to be shown in the correct order it would not be as good because the twist would be at the start, a twist that would spoil the rest of the story. Although who's to say which way is the right way, it's a matter of opinion and it depends on which way the director/writer believes is the right way. If the events are shown in reverse then that's probably the best order to watch them in. After looking at the script for this film it is clear that Christopher thought very carefully about how this film would look and how the scenes would fit together if they were put in a reverse order. It takes a lot of skill to be able to write a film like Memento (2000), and Christopher as written it very well.
Christopher Nolan and Guy Pearce on the set of Memento (2000)
I will take some inspiration from this film in terms of some of the meetings that take place. Every time Leonard meets someone he cannot remember if he has met them before and so must check his photos and tattoos. Some of my ideas have elements where two characters meet for the first time and so I will take inspiration from the way Leonard reacts to meeting people.
One of the polaroids used my Leonard to help him remember people
This film is a brilliant piece of work and a great example of a good and well though out story. I specifically like the meeting elements because every time Leonard meets someone, it is like he is meeting them for the first time, something I would like to work into my own ideas. I will continue with my ideas process and draw some inspiration from elements of the story that is Memento (2000).
When thinking about what my story could be about I decided to look back upon real life experiences for inspiration. After looking back on some experiences I had a few ideas but there was one that stood out for me.
The other day when I was on the train a mother and daughter sat down on the seats in front of me. They were sitting there the whole time I was on the train. I sat quietly and listened to the way the two of them communicated which each other. The daughter was quite young so she didn't understand much and kept asking her mother questions. The two of them were colouring in some pictures and they seemed to have a nice relationship with one another.
This mother and daughter made me think about the relationship parents have with the children and the joy that new parents have when their child is born. It also made me think about the nerves that come about on the day a baby is born and the troubles some couples go through, for example parents that are not together.
The Idea
Waiting Room
From all this I thought about a story set in the waiting room of the maternity ward at a hospital. I wanted to create a story based around a father who doesn't have a great relationship with the mother and how this can all change when they meet their child for the first time. I wanted the father to have a conversation with a friend in the waiting room about what happened between him and the mother. I want to use the baby as a tool to bring the two young parents together again.
I will continue working on this idea, whilst still thinking about the others. I will develop and try out this idea to see if it works as a good story based around the starting point "The Meeting".
The BBC recently broadcast a new sitcom about a young guy who meets a much older woman. The twist on the story is that in the first episode we find out that this woman used to be a man. I chose to do some research on this show because of the scene when this happens. The scene in question is:
In this scene the boy, Leo, finds out that the girl, Judy, was "born with a penis". The scene then continues as a waiter over hears and has an awkward moment with Judy, all whilst Leo is just staring into the distance with a shocked look on his face. This theme is similar to themes I have already looked at when one character is shocked by something another character says, something which I would like to use in my own story. This surprise breaks the romantic feel the date had and replaces it with a quirky comedic moment. I like this theme and will attempt to build it into my own story.
For one of our task we were put into pairs and asked to come up with a 25 word pitch for a short film by Simon Ellis. Before writing the pitch we had a group discussion and came up with a few key words that described certain elements of the film. Some of these words included contemporary, conflicting, relationships, family, masculinity and challenged. My 25 word pitch was:
"Contemporary drama set in an urban environment about a father and son who when both challenged by a gang learn new things about each other"
It was interesting to hear what everyone else said and it was clear that we all have different ways of interpreting a story, especially when it comes to summing it up in 25 words.
My initial ideas for this project are based around the idea of two people meeting that have never met each other before. I want to create a story about two characters, that have never met before, who become trapped in one space together and begin to get to know one another. The idea that one of those people knows more than the other one does also interests me. Two scenes that came to mind were: When John Watson meets Sherlock and When Young Amy meets the Eleventh Doctor (Matt Smith).
Both of these shows have come from the same man: Steven Moffat.
And the episodes in question are:
Sherlock "A Study in Pink"
Doctor Who "The Eleventh Hour"
Who is Steven Moffat?
Steven is a British TV screenwriter and producer who is most well know for creating Sherlock (2010, with help from Mark Gatiss) and Doctor Who (as of 2010, taking over from Russell T Davies). In his time he has also created dramas such as Press Gang (1989) and sitcoms like Joking Apart (1993). As well as this he co-wrote The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn (2011), a film directed by my favourite director Steven Spielberg!
So why have I chosen to look at Steven Moffat? Well, it's because I like the way he mixes serious drama with a little hint of comedy every now and then. He has a way of creating a great storyline that leaves time for humour and the occasional awkward meeting. Doctor Who and Sherlock both contain great examples of this. I like how he can pull the audience in and make them think like the characters he has created do. When it comes to mixing clever stories with dark themes, he's the man to go to.
Overall he is a brilliant writer and some of my favourite tv moments have come from his pen.
Sherlock: When John Watson meets Sherlock
I decided to watch this scene from Sherlock because it made me think about the awkwardness a conversation can have when you first meet someone, especially when they seem to know more about you than you think they do. The scene is question is this one from season 1, episode 1:
In this scene John meet Sherlock for the first time and is confused by the information he seems to know. Somehow Sherlock knows a lot of information about John, even though they've never met.
Sherlock does most of the talking in the scene and every line he says meaning, there is no wasted dialogue. At no point does he give John time to answer any questions or ask him anything about who he is or what he does. Sherlock does not acknowledge John when he walks into the room because he is still deciding whether he can be trusted or not. Although this is not said, it is made clear by the way he speaks to Mike first and then interacts with John after he offers him his phone.
I like the way this scene was written and the way the pace increases as it moves along. I like the way that Sherlock interacts with John, at no point does he explain how he knows everything, instead he leave the explaining until a future meeting. He avoids answering any of Johns questions until he eventually just tells John everything he knows about him and John is surprised. The scene is written in a brilliant manner. It perfectly sets up the two characters. We learn a lot about John's past and a lot about the awkward manner in which Sherlock interacts with people. There is a good mix of comedy, drama and awkwardness which I want to use in my story. I want my work to have a similar feel to it where one person knows more than the other, and even though the two characters are complete opposites, they actually fit together rather well.
Doctor Who: When Young Amy meets the Eleventh Doctor
This scene from Doctor who makes me think about the feeling you get when you meet someone you know who you feel like you already know, and again in this case they already know something about you. The scene is question is:
In this scene young Amy is trying to find something for the new Doctor (Matt Smith) to eat, but he hates everything she gives him, even though seconds before he said he liked it.
The scene perfectly mixes serious drama and comedy. It begins with the comedy element, The Doctor getting rid of every food he hates, and ends with a serious element, the audience discovering that Amy has no parents and Amy discovering that The Doctor knows about the crack in her wall. Again there is a moment when one character knows something about the other character and this other character is shocked by that. Matt Smith's performance is key to the scene because there is a sense of him not knowing much about himself (not knowing what food he likes) which is similar to the audience not knowing anything about him (as he was not a well known actor).
This scene has influenced my own thought process because it perfectly mixes comedy and drama and goes from one element to another in a really smooth manner. I like the way that Moffat has written enough dialogue to tell us something about the new doctor but also not give too much away. I also like the way that young Amy does everything The Doctor asks her to do even though she has never met him before; I guess in a way she feels like she has. As the two are sitting face to face, I like the way the comedic element has been put on top of a serious scene. The Doctor begins to ask young Amy about her life and we as an audience learn that she has no parents (a serious element). At the same time the audience is still chuckling at Matt who is eating fishfingers and custard (an odd but satisfying mix). The scene then takes a sudden turn when The Doctor mentions the crack in young Amy's wall and there is a clear look of shock on her face. At this point the dramatic part of the story overtakes the comedic element. This is similar to how John looks and feels when Sherlock asks him about the war. Both times the drama is created by the character asking a simple question:
"Must be a hell of a scary crack in your wall?"- Doctor Who
"Afghanistan or Iraq?"- Sherlock
Conclusion
The two scenes I have looked at will heavily influence my final story in terms of the writing style and how comedy and drama are mixed, as well as the use of questions to shock or surprise other characters and create a feeling of awkwardness, something that Steven Moffat does very well.
Project: Given a location and two characters. Create a story.
"The Meeting"
Characters: A computer geek & an office cleaner
Location: Cellar (officer cellar?), Night. Dim lit room. Cold
feel.
Protagonist: Joseph (Geek)
Main Character/Secondary Character: Petra (cleaner/spy)
Pitch: “Two worlds collide when a shy computer geek befriends
a cleaner whom is rifling through his office but unbeknown to him, she is a spy”
Computer Geek:
Joseph Wolfstien
German Descent
Male
Government
Late 20s, early 30s
Geeky but cute
No one appreciates him
Blonde
Brown eyes
Short curly hair
Glasses
Shirt and tie
Pressed trousers
Pens in shirt pocket
Office Cleaner:
Petra Fyed
Russian
Female
Secretly a spy posing as a cleaner
Mid 20s
Skinny
Pale
Dark wavy hair
Cleaning outfit
Red lipstick
Still wearing leather slightly heels
Black cleaning gloves
Why are they meeting?
Joseph
is in the cellar completing some paper work and is filing some important
documents. He is the office geek who works in the basement looking after all
the files. Most don’t even know he exists. Petra has worked her way into the
cellar. Important government information is stored here. She is secretly a spy
who has been hired to steel information. She knows what she’s looking for. She
opens the box where she believes the information is and it’s not there. She is
discovered looking through files by Joseph, who questions her. She is unaware
that he was going to be there. She sees that Joseph has the information she
needs. After some questioning she realises that he has it and begins to flirt
her way out of it, in an attempt to complete her mission. He has gained a
little confidence because someone has finally noticed him and so he unwittingly
made it easier for her. However, although he forgets about asking her questions,
he does not give up the documents. She resorts to hitting him over the head
with a mop bucket. And so steals the documents from him, leaving the audience
to feel sorry for the poor guy.
Goal:
Steal information
Carry out his job, go about everyday life
Conflict:
Found by the computer geek, who has the information
she needs.
Geek finds her.
Change:
Change of tactics, flirt with computer geek.
She is made aware of some she never knew existed.
The environment around her has changed.
What do we learn?
Joseph just wanted to be noticed, so much so that he wouldn’t
question anyone that wanted to be his friend even if they seemed suspicious.
If this was a feature film: The story could continue, he could
lose his job as a result. She would discover this, and feel sorry. She could
find him and offer him a job at her work place, what he does not know is that
he is working for a spy agency.
