Directions- Rough Cut Feedback

After putting together a rough cut of my Drama and Self-Portrait, I showed them to Simon for some feedback:

DRAMA

• Change a part of the sound design in Scene 1. Currently the ambience is the sound of crickets in the distance. This feels to American, and I have chosen to direct Breaking Bad as though it is British.
• Change the build up music in Scene 1. When Walt walks towards the house, a piece of music helps to build tension. The current track doesn't work very well or fit with the rest of the scene.
• Add a shot of the bomb under the car in Scene 2. If you haven't seen the episode, you don't know there is a bomb under the car, and so I need to show that.
• Edit some of the cuts in Scene 2 to make it even tighter. E.g. As Walt ducks down inside the car, it needs to cut to him quicker.
• Adjust the shot that shows Gus approaching the car as it can confuse the audience a little because of the angle it was shot at.
• Apart from those small changes, everything else is fine.

SELF-PORTRAIT

• Work on the sound design as it currently has no sound at all.
• Apart from that the visuals are absolutely fine. Has a very Spielberg like feel to it.

CHANGES TO MAKE

• Replace the cricket sounds with something more British.
• Replace the build up music in Scene 2 with something that fits better.
• Go out and film a shot of the bomb under the car to add it later.
• Edit some of the cuts, make them tighter.
• Adjust the shot of Gus approaching the car.
• Work on the sound design for the Self-Portrait.