Steven and I went through the script together and picked it apart, deciding what worked well and what could be changed. We started with the opening scene. Steve made some suggestions. He said I could give the van a reason to be there so the accident isn't just a coincidence. He said that maybe the van driver could be another expectant father who is rushing into the hospital, looking for somewhere to park.
Next we moved onto the main character, Dylan. Steve thought it would be good to think about his back story and what it is he might have done to annoy his fiancée. We both decided that Dylan was a gambler who had gambled all his and his fiancée's money away to buy the most expensive baby gadgets available. Unfortunately, it didn't work out how he thought it would and now he is broke. I thought about how I could write this into the script and we both agreed that Dylan could receive a text or call about betting at some point during the story.
Finally we looked at the structure of the script and how I could break the story up a little. Steve suggested that I split my first waiting room scene into two separate waiting room scenes. This is to help spread the story out a little. Steve also made some suggestions about the ending of my script and how I could use the accident more effectively.
Overall I loved the feedback I got from Steve and I'm glad he liked my script, he said it had a lot of potential. I made most of the changes he suggested and produced draft five of my script. This draft is the one I used during my shoot.
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| Draft 5 Title Page |
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