Major Project: Script Draft 1

After coming up with an initial idea, and once I had completed some additional research into screenwriting, I wrote the first draft of a script for our Major Project: 'Stick Up'.

SCRIPT DRAFT 1



This first draft of the script was written without any input from Ellie and Ellen. I wrote it to better help them understand my idea, before we began working as a group to make changes to it. It follows the outline I have already set out in a previous post.

I wrote this using all of the information I had researched into screenwriting, and followed the structures I had learnt about e.g. beginning, middle, end. I will now break down the script page by page to explain why I wrote certain things.

SCRIPT BREAKDOWN

Page 1 begins with a clear description of the location for this entire story. I describe the location as 'seemingly quiet' because I want to leave it open to what could occur during the story. Are they actually alone or not?

As the first character enters the picture, I describe him ducking and diving in a 'clumsy' manner. I have done this to highlight that he is not a pro at this, and it also shows that maybe he is a bit nervous too.

The two characters begin to argue straight away, and it soon becomes clear that Dave has turned up with all of the wrong supplies for the robbery. This again highlights that they are amateurs, and that maybe this is their first time doing something like this. They are not at all prepared. It is also clear that there has been some miscommunication between the two. I have written that in at the start because it becomes important later on in the script.

Dave tries to convince Steve that the bananas will work as guns. I have written that they are bananas because it provides a clue as to what is to come. Fruit becomes an important part of the story.

Steve then begins to question why the area is very quiet. Dave convinces him that this is because it's lunchtime and so everyone is away. So at this point Steve starts to become suspicious, but ignores it and continues with the heist. It then becomes clear that Dave has also brought the wrong masks, again highlighting that he is an amateur. I chose monkey masks, because of the banana guns. I thought this would be a good bit of humour for the script.

As Steve and Dave head over to the warehouse, I have written that they are both ducking and diving, but I also added that Steve seems more confident that Dave. I have done this to show the audience that Steve is also an amateur, but he is more up for it that Dave is. This also suggests that this was probably Steve's idea, and Dave has been dragged along for the ride.

When they get to the warehouse entrance, it becomes clear that Steve is maybe not as prepared either, because he is vague about his plan. I wrote this in to again highlight that they are both amateurs and to confirm the fact that this was Steve's idea.

As the two enter the warehouse I have written that Dave shouts that he will kill everyone. I wrote this to highlight his nerves, compared to Steve who just tells everybody to get down.

Whilst searching for people, I wrote that Dave is scared when he can hear someone at the end of the isle he is walking down. It is revealed to be Steve, who makes him jump, and makes a joke about the banana gun. I decided to have this moment, to highlight, that the smallest things are worrying Dave because of his nerves. It also highlights that maybe Steve isn't taking the robbery very seriously.

Once they eventually open the boxes, it becomes clear that they are in fact robbing an apple warehouse, and all of the clues in the script prior to this scene become clear. There was a miscommunication between the two characters, something I highlighted in the initial scenes. It also explains why nobody is in the warehouse, because fruit, according to Steve, is not worth guarding.

At the end of the script, it becomes clear that the two characters have realised that maybe this isn't the best way to get some money together. Finally, as they try to leave, the car won't start. I wrote this in because the car was the one thing that Steve was in charge of arranging, so I wanted to highlight, that he had also made a mistake during the heist, not just Dave.

Overall I think this initial script does need a lot of work, but it will be enough to show the others in my group what I am thinking for this project.