Change 1:
I have decided to remove Gus's bodyguards from Scene 2. The reason I have done this is because I want Gus to seem more vulnerable at the start of the seen, before he works out what is going on. I feel the bodyguards remove this vulnerability, because he has protection if something does go wrong. Also when you watch the original scene you can see that the bodyguards have no purpose; they just stand in the background, not knowing what is going on. This makes me think they can be removed without affecting the tension of the scene.
Now in Scene 2 Gus will emerge with no protection, he will be on his own. He will work out what is going on by himself, and protect himself by not getting in the car.
Change 2:
After reviewing my feedback and my schedule, I have decided to change the time setting of Scene 1. Instead of it being set at night, it will now take place in the late afternoon. I think the scene can still work, no matter what the time of day is. My main reason for changing this is because of lighting. I fear I may not have been able to light the scene well at night, and this could have ruined my footage, and the entire scene. This is a risk I am not willing to take, as I would not have time for a reshoot.
The scene will now take place as the sun is going down, which means I won't have much time to shoot it. I will have to stick to a strict schedule to ensure I complete filming before it goes dark, and I believe I can do this.
Draft 2
To implement these changes I have:
- Removed the description about the bodyguards in Scene 2 and replaced it with an alternative that relates to Gus.
- Changed the scene heading and description for Scene 1, from a night setting to a late afternoon setting.
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| Draft 2: Title Page |
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